Outside the Press Box :: Dr. David Davis

    I recently played golf with Pearland athletic director Mike Watson and found myself uttering his same words, "It isn't fun getting old."
    Of course - it does beat the alternative.
    Yes - we are getting older so I am going to give you a new set of "Signs that you are getting older."
    * You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
    * Your back goes out more than you do.
    * Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
    * People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
    * You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
    * You order stewed prunes and your waiter says, "Excellent choice!"
    * You can play a game of "connect the spots" with liver spots on your hands.
    * The top of your trousers keep moving toward your armpits.
    * You write a "to do" list and then you forget where you put the list.
    * Happy hour is the nap before dinner.
    * You and your teeth don't sleep together.
    * You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
    * At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, and pop and you're not eating cereal.
    * It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
    * You begin to make those funny noises when you sit down and when you get up.
    * It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
    * Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
    * Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.  
    E-mail: drdd@swbell.net